Hey everyone! Wow. Time certainly flies when you are super busy! I am a bit ashamed it has taken me this long to post.
In Mark Driscoll’s book “Real Marriage,” he recommended that couples create relationship goals and then re-evaluate those goals as time passes. One of our goals as a couple was to take a short vacation once every three months where we can get away from the pressing demands around us and re-prioritize things a bit. I know now looking back that those goals that we made were inspired by The Lord in order to protect us.
I absolutely love that we get to create films and photograph people. I love that we get to have the flexibility of self-employment and I don’t foresee that changing. We have been given an extraordinary gift. But something definitely crept into my heart where I felt like I constantly needed to produce something in order to be valuable. My worth, my identity, my life was becoming based on my work. This happened to a really intense degree last summer and a little bit in the spring of this year. I burnt out, I lost creative drive, I started to lose the ability to think outside of work. In the moment, you don’t really know it is happening, or at least you don’t want to admit that it could be as bad as it is. Thankfully I have a wife who can see when some action needs to be taken.
A number of weeks ago Ashleigh planned a time for us to both get away from our normal routines and take a weekend off. Part of me really wanted to resist this. I should be working, I should be producing, I don’t want to be lazy, I should feel guilty for taking some time away.
Nonsense. The Lord really used this brief weekend to show me that I was believing a handful of lies about my identity and about His heart for me. I was creating a dependence on something other than God. Paul says in Scripture “.. the life I now live I live by faith in the Son of God,” and “Let the one who boasts boast in The Lord.” My life trajectory was not boasting in Christ alone- my life was boasting in my accomplishments and the worth I was attempting to build for myself. Oh that I would count those things as gifts, but ultimately as loss for the sake of knowing Christ. In knowing that Christ had forgiven me I was able to draw near to Him; the only one who can save me from a slavery to a performance-based identity.
Because of the generosity of the Barkman family we were able to use their cabin near Tucquan Glen. After going to church with the Bomberger’s we slipped off to a glorious land without cell phone reception. The area around the cabin honestly felt like we were in a different state even though we were only a half an hour from home. We slept around 10 hours every night. I didn’t know the depth of how tired I felt. I may sound like an eighty year old man, but I felt tired in my bones. We were learning that some things needed to change for next year in the way we manage things. We need to take on less, and trust The Lord with what He brings. We had a Lord of the Rings marathon and I realized how whiny Frodo is and how Sam is really the silent hero. We hope you enjoy some of the photos we took, and we hope The Lord uses the lessons He is teaching us for your benefit.